These indexes could only have been made
Before Victoria's Secret!
There was Cupid!!!
Once, all the
world had was the infamous imp with the funny
little wings. With some mischief in mind, he went out into the world
and took a bow and his special arrows
tipped with a pinch of pixie
dust, some fairy dust, a little charm, and a few sweet nothings. He
had no drugs,
no purple little pills . . . or any underwear!
Yet, when stricken by one of his bolts, you were under
And if "IT" . . . (his spell, of course) .
. . lasted longer than four
hours, you didn't have to CALL A DOCTOR!, you were . . .
CUPID IS NOT
AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL PHARMACY, GROCERY STORE, IN LOCKER ROOMS, OR FOR
TOGA PARTIES OR BAR
MITZVAHS. FREELY AVAILABLE IN CANADA, BUT NOT NECESSARILY FREE
IN ALL THE UNITED STATES AS THE FDA RESTRICTS THE IMPORTATION OF PIXIE
DUST. ALSO, THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY HAS PLACED ALL ROMAN GODS BEARING BOWS
AND ARROWS ON THEIR WATCH LIST.
DOSAGE: DOSAGES VARY AND CAN BE ADMINISTERED AT
ANY AGE, WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OR FOREWARNING. PARTICULARLY EFFECTIVE AT
BEDTIME. DIRECTIONS: WORKS BEST WHEN GIVEN WITH GOOD
FOOD, WHITE WINE, CANDLELIGHT, AND YOUR CHOICE OF A LITTLE MUSIC BY FRANK
SINATRA, BARRY MANILOW, OR TOM
JONES. SYMPTOMS: LOVE-AT-FIRST-SIGHT, BLIND LOVE, MAD LOVE, RECKLESS LOVE,
LOVE AFFAIRS, LOVE TRIANGLES, ROMANTIC INTERLUDES, DATING, ENGAGEMENTS,
ELOPEMENTS, MARRIAGE, AND SEX, NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER.
SIDE EFFECTS: MOST SIDE EFFECTS DISSIPATE OVER TIME, HOWEVER, SOME, SUCH AS
CHILDREN, WILL PERSIST. WARNINGS: IF PREGNANT OR BREAST FEEDING, GENEROUS DOSAGES OF
MOTHERLY LOVE ARE TO BE ADMINISTERED. IN THE CASE OF DIVORCE, HIDE
YOUR MONEY AND CALL A DIVORCE LAWYER. ACTIVE INGREDIENTS:
PIXIE DUST (50%), FAIRY DUST (40%) WITH A LITTLE CHARM (10%).
INACTIVE INGREDIENTS: SWEET NOTHINGS.